Walt's Sundance
by Nora Lou
Summary: This is a missing scene from "Election Day". What did Walt "see" in his vision quest?


**Walt's Sundance**

**By**

**Nora Lou Wilson**

**And**

**Rebecca S. Smithey**

**Synopsis: This is a missing scene from "Election Day". What did Walt "see" in his vision quest? **

Flashes of lightning…

Rain in the distance…

They dying sun blazed orange in one last gasp, and then the sky began to turn a bruised purple, blue and deepest black.

His pierced skin throbbed with every beat of his heart, but it was nothing compared to the ache in his heart and in his soul.

_I have to do this…to save Cady…to cleanse myself…to put right all the things that had gone wrong…_

He hung there, suspended between heaven and earth, attached to the Great Mother by a hemp umbilical cord.

He felt the Old Ones around him, holding him up, supporting him like they had coming down from Lost Twin and on Cloud Peak. He could hear the drums…matching the beat of his heart.

He tried to focus, just like Henry had instructed him, but his mind would not be silent like his tongue.

Time lost all meaning…Henry was gone, and would not return until late tomorrow…The Old Ones were there to keep him company….he could hear the drums…

Rain moved through and washed the blood from his chest. Water ran in rivulets down his body and onto the ground. The earth accepted the sacrifice of his body and blood…the gift of his pain….

The rain moved through, and the air grew chilly. His chest continued to bleed. The night grew darker.

Walt let his arms go slack, allowing the rope to take his weight. He closed his eyes, trying to focus on the reason he came out here in the first place.

He could hear noises in the desert; animals moving through the brush…night birds, their wings striking the air. He could smell ozone from the storm just passed. The drums continued…a rhythm that began to match his breathing.

The skin on the back of his neck prickled, and he knew he was being watched. He blinked his eyes, but he let them stay unfocused – his own kind of motion detector. On his left, something was moving through the sage and scrub brush.

When he focused his gaze, he saw a tawny cougar slithering through the valley a few yards away…_probably drawn by the smell of blood…_He watched it draw near, and he waited for her…_how did I know it was a "her"?_ He waited for her to pounce.

Instead, she came closer, and sat on her haunches in front of him. "Jeez, Walt," the cougar said. "You look like hell!" The cougar's mouth was moving, but the voice was Martha's. Along with the pain in his chest, he could feel the all-too-familiar tightness that came with any thought of his dead wife. The words were also familiar. She greeted him at the door of their rented house with those same words whenever he worked a double shift or long case.

One part of his brain knew that he was only imagining things, but he wanted…_no, __needed_…to talk to the cougar…he had missed her so much…he just wanted to hear her voice again…

He tried to speak, but the pain and lack of water left his mouth as dry as the ground before the rain. The cougar seemed to read his thoughts. "You don't need to hear my voice to remember me, sweetheart. You'll always remember me…even if you can't always remember where you put the keys to the Bullet…" The cougar moved closer, sniffed, then licked the knuckles on one hand with a tongue as soft as cotton. "You need to move on, Walter…get a new recording for your answering machine…you _**really**_ have to let me go, sweetheart."

Walt slowly shook his head. _I can't…_he thought. The cougar swiftly got up on her paws, then rose up on her hind legs. She very gently rested her front paws on his bare shoulders with a tenderness he did not believe possible…_this cat is HUGE!_

When the cougar spoke again, it was still Martha's voice, but there was a definite rumble of a growl underneath. "Walt, you have to let me go…you cannot spend the rest of your life in mourning…you don't look all that good in black…and besides, it isn't fair to Cady, and all the other people who love you…including me…"

He wanted to say something, but all he could feel was the love he'd known for all those years. How do you put all of that into words? The cougar sniffed his face, then planted a small lick on his cheek. "I love you, too, you big goof…now, please…do something right with my ashes…a _**tea box**_…REALLY?

Walt closed his eyes as he felt the pressure of those big paws leave his shoulders. "Don't go see Cady again until you take a shower, Walt…you really stink…"

He watched the cougar swiftly move away, a final swish of her tail like a tiny wave. At the same time, the tight feeling that had been inside his chest since the night Martha had died faded away; in its place were all the good memories they had built together. From some distance away, he heard the cougar speak again. "It's a gift, you big goof…Don't waste it…"

Walt closed his eyes again and felt the night close in around him. HE could hear the drums again…He tried to focus his mind…_Cady…there is so much I need to tell you…so much to make up for…please, god, let my little girl be all right…_In his mind's eye, he could see her – tubes down her throat and IV's in both arms…he had to believe that she was going to come through this…_or I have no damned business being out here…I am so sorry, Cady…_

He clamped his teeth against a cry that begged to be released, and a wave of remorse swept over him. Lately, he had bulled his way through life, and never considered how many people he had hurt along the way…_Cady…Lizzie…I tried to blame her for Cady's accident, because e I was with her instead of protecting my daughter…_HE only hoped they both would forgive him when all this was over…

His legs began to ache and tremble with the effort of staying on his feet, and even though the air was growing warmer, his teeth began to chatter. The rope creaked with every move.

The night wore on. As the sun began to rise, the cold night air moved out toward the Bighorn Mountains and the sky began to lighten. At first, a faint pink glow appeared on the horizon; then, the sky began to blaze in all its glory. As it continued through its orbit, the heat began to bake his skin.

At dawn, the wild animals began to reappear. He squinted against the sunlight as a sleek, black bear lumbered its way toward him. The bear was huge, but Walt felt only comfort in front of him.

The bear spoke. "I am here, my brother."

The bear stopped a few feet away, sat down and produced a can of Rainier out of thin air. It looked icy cold, and droplets of condensation ran down the aluminum sides.

Walt watched as the bear took one sharp claw, popped the top and took a long swallow. Walt ran his tongue around the inside of his mouth, but it all felt dry and dusty.

"You would like a beer right now?" The bear asked in Henry's voice. Walt nodded.

"It is very good, but…no, I do not think I can share my beer with you." The bear shook its big, shaggy head very sadly. "I have noticed that you drink too much beer…and besides," he waved a paw toward the rope attached to Walt's skin. "When this is all over, you will need to drink a lot of water to rehydrate your body…no," the bear shook his head again, "no beer for you…"

_Thanks for nothing, pal…_Walt thought. Again, as though this wild thing could read his mind, the bear spoke again. "It is not nothing for me to be here with you," he said, and Walt felt a stab of guilt. "You are my brother, and I am here to watch over you…and guide you until your vision quest is complete." The bear moved closer, huffing. Like the cougar earlier, the bear sat back on his haunches and cocked his head as he looked up at Walt. "How are you feeling?"

Walt tried to shrug his shoulders in a "no sweat" gesture, but the movement caused pain to lance across his upper body instead. Before he could set himself against it, a gasp escaped his lips. It was the first real sound he had made in many long hours.

The bear nodded in understanding. "This is a very brave thing you are doing, my brother. I know of no other white man who would attempt it."

_I just hope it works…saves Cady…_

The bear's head came up and he seemed to be listening to a far-off voice. "The Old Ones want to know if you remember the eaglet?"

_What the…_Then, in a flash, he did remember. On a camping trip when Cady was six, she had found an eaglet with an injured wing. For the next several days, Cady cared for that little creature. When they packed up to return home, Cady demanded that the little bird go with them. The bird made the trip to Durant wrapped in Cady's favorite blanket, tucked down in Walt's favorite hat.

Over the next several days, Cady took great care of the little bird; tending the wing and feeding it by hand.

Finally, with tears streaming down her round little face, she had released the eagle outside their rented house in town. At first, the eagle struggled, then rose gracefully into the air, riding the thermals and batting the air with two strong wings.

Walt looked at the bear. "Your vision quest has been seen. Your silence has been heard. The Old Ones say your eaglet will fly again." The bear nodded his big, shaggy head. "It is time for me to go…" He lumbered off, but nor before he glanced back over his broad shoulder. "Take a shower before you see Cady again…you smell like a bear…"

As the bear moved off, Walt heard the drums begin to fade. He knew instinctively that the Old Ones had left him. He was now utterly alone, but he did not feel abandoned. He knew they were always out there, waiting for the next time he would need them.

The sun continued to rise in the sky, and sweat rolled from his body. The wounds stung, but Walt felt little of it. His mind and body were going numb from the long hours with no water and exposure to the elements.

With no warning, Walt felt his balance leave him. He toppled backward, and the rope attached to his skin ripped free. He fell backward into the dirt. He wasn't sure how long he stayed that way, dazed and numb.

He felt rather than heard someone approach, and he tried to focus his eyes. It was the bear again, but in a more familiar form. "Cady is awake!"


End file.
